Energy: Low but improving
Mood: Apathetic
Arousal: Below average
This is pointless while being sick - the only difference being locked up while in this condition, is the amount of leaking going on. I wonder why some guys leak like this and others don't.
It's actually a concern of mine; if my prostate produces so much fluid, what are the consequences of this when I'm older?
Hopefully I'll be back to normal in a few days.
Sunday, 30 September 2012
Saturday, 29 September 2012
DAY 10 (SICK)
Energy: Low
Mood: Frustrated
Arousal: Well below average
Well, back home today, Dad drove me back which was pretty great. It was great to spend time with him despite being sick. Badly need to clean this cage properly. Leaking a good bit, but not as much if I wasn't ill. Housemates are gone which is great, the house isn't too untidy either. Hopefully I'll be at 100% tomorrow.
It's interesting to note that I wasn't sexually frustrated at all the past few days. That said I'd rather pick being constantly horny than be sick. Hope that that sexual frustration doesn't come back with a vengeance!
Mood: Frustrated
Arousal: Well below average
Well, back home today, Dad drove me back which was pretty great. It was great to spend time with him despite being sick. Badly need to clean this cage properly. Leaking a good bit, but not as much if I wasn't ill. Housemates are gone which is great, the house isn't too untidy either. Hopefully I'll be at 100% tomorrow.
It's interesting to note that I wasn't sexually frustrated at all the past few days. That said I'd rather pick being constantly horny than be sick. Hope that that sexual frustration doesn't come back with a vengeance!
DAY 9 (SICK)
Energy: Little more than yesterday
Mood: Bored, little restless
Arousal: Increasing, but well below average
"Gonna miss BJJ tonight, Connor is already pulling ahead of me so I'm not happy about that. Being the worst in the group at something is manageable, but not when you're a *lot* worse.
"Mom gave me a haircut - it was one of the tasks [KEYHOLDER] gave me. I don't know what I'm gonna tell him when he gets back, I haven't sent an email since the day I got sick.
"Mom and I haven't gotten along for many years, and being back in [HOMETOWN] reminds me of this. She never cut my hair the way I wanted, she only ever did what *she* thought was good. Short sides are "in" and that's what she did despite me asking her to leave a bit of length. Now I look like a teenage lesbian."
Mood: Bored, little restless
Arousal: Increasing, but well below average
"Gonna miss BJJ tonight, Connor is already pulling ahead of me so I'm not happy about that. Being the worst in the group at something is manageable, but not when you're a *lot* worse.
"Mom gave me a haircut - it was one of the tasks [KEYHOLDER] gave me. I don't know what I'm gonna tell him when he gets back, I haven't sent an email since the day I got sick.
"Mom and I haven't gotten along for many years, and being back in [HOMETOWN] reminds me of this. She never cut my hair the way I wanted, she only ever did what *she* thought was good. Short sides are "in" and that's what she did despite me asking her to leave a bit of length. Now I look like a teenage lesbian."
DAY 8 (SICK)
Energy: Not even ritalin is helping
Mood: "Apathy is a sort of living oblivion."
Arousal: Non existent
"Back in [HOMETOWN], god I hate it here. Being locked and shaved is like being a kid again - it's pleasant and fun, you feel safe and innocent. Being here is like being a teen again - it's angsty and distressing. It reminds you of all those awkward uncomfortable years you spent learning how to not be a kid. I didn't even have a hard time as a teen, but fuck me I wouldn't choose to live through it again...
"Saw [OLD DOCTOR] again, that was actually fun. He didn't give me a prescription so much as a small pharmacy. I forgot how handy that was; I could just go to him and make a rational case for something, and if I made a good argument for it he'd happily give it to me. My current doc doesn't do that, but he does care a lot about my health. It's like the difference between your brother in law and your dad."
Mood: "Apathy is a sort of living oblivion."
Arousal: Non existent
"Back in [HOMETOWN], god I hate it here. Being locked and shaved is like being a kid again - it's pleasant and fun, you feel safe and innocent. Being here is like being a teen again - it's angsty and distressing. It reminds you of all those awkward uncomfortable years you spent learning how to not be a kid. I didn't even have a hard time as a teen, but fuck me I wouldn't choose to live through it again...
"Saw [OLD DOCTOR] again, that was actually fun. He didn't give me a prescription so much as a small pharmacy. I forgot how handy that was; I could just go to him and make a rational case for something, and if I made a good argument for it he'd happily give it to me. My current doc doesn't do that, but he does care a lot about my health. It's like the difference between your brother in law and your dad."
DAY 7 (SICK)
Energy: Very little
Mood: Sad
Arousal: None
"I didn't even wake up with an erection this morning. That was actually quite weird. Have a bit more energy today but still listless and actually pretty sad. I'm actually pretty sick. Parents back from Spain, Dad is in the area and is gonna take me home to see doctor. Too tired to disagree"
Mood: Sad
Arousal: None
"I didn't even wake up with an erection this morning. That was actually quite weird. Have a bit more energy today but still listless and actually pretty sad. I'm actually pretty sick. Parents back from Spain, Dad is in the area and is gonna take me home to see doctor. Too tired to disagree"
DAY 6 (SICK)
Energy: None
Mood: Despondent
Arousal: Non existent
I was too sick to post anything the past few days, but I wrote stuff down in bed. It's the "malady induced ramblings of a madman", but hey I might as well keep the sidebar looking tidy - I'll post every day as it was written. I'm raging that the whole point of the blog (a diary to track changes in mood and energy while locked up) is now pretty much ruined.
"One of the most unfair things about being sick is that the sickness doesn't let you sleep. It keeps you awake, forcing you to suffer through its sinister machinations. I wish there was a pill you could take to induce coma for a few days. Too much potential for abuse, I suppose.
"Cage still on and pointlessly so; if Goku and Vegeta appeared before me looking for a threesome I'd say no."
Mood: Despondent
Arousal: Non existent
I was too sick to post anything the past few days, but I wrote stuff down in bed. It's the "malady induced ramblings of a madman", but hey I might as well keep the sidebar looking tidy - I'll post every day as it was written. I'm raging that the whole point of the blog (a diary to track changes in mood and energy while locked up) is now pretty much ruined.
"One of the most unfair things about being sick is that the sickness doesn't let you sleep. It keeps you awake, forcing you to suffer through its sinister machinations. I wish there was a pill you could take to induce coma for a few days. Too much potential for abuse, I suppose.
"Cage still on and pointlessly so; if Goku and Vegeta appeared before me looking for a threesome I'd say no."
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Window shopping; the Jailbird chastity cage.
The Curve has done me well so far - despite being a knock-off from China, it was a surprisingly good fit. Many people have issues with the premade acrylic cages, not least finding one that fits well.
That said, I'm seeing cracks in the acrylic body of the cage. It won't last forever.
Lots of options exist for an upgrade, even the material the cage is made of - there's acrylic, metal and even silicone. Each has benefits and drawbacks.
The cage that I kept seeing mentioned as a good choice was the Jailbird. I preferred the metal cages like the Steelheart that obscured the cock completely - I liked the thought of not even being able to see your own cock :)
Even then, I still preferred the metal cages with loops running across rather than vertically down.
So the Jailbird wasn't in consideration. It was a shame, because it was very popular with people, and I saw it mentioned all the time.
But then I landed on the Jailbird homepage and saw something interesting - apparently the company can make the cage with a third horizontal ring if the cage is over 2 inches long, and a fourth ring if the cage is 3 inches or more. Here's the Jailbird with a third ring:
It looks pretty good! Way better with the third ring than not (at least to me). A little searching and I found one with 4 rings:
Both look pretty good. I would be very happy locked away in either!
The cage has very good reviews and is much easier to clean than the Curve. It's made from stainless steel and won't shatter like acrylic, or tear like silicone. It's custom made to an extent, and if the fit is wrong it can be sent back to be altered.
Only thing is the price; the exchange rate isn't bad, but $350 is still a good chunk of money for a student. When your first cage was €30 you tend to see other cages as a little on the expensive side.
Then again, it's a solid piece of equipment and I'd get a lot of use from it - I want to keep going with chastity, and if I didn't it could always be sold.
I hope these aren't justifications for a shiny toy... Oh well! Nothing to do but start saving.
That said, I'm seeing cracks in the acrylic body of the cage. It won't last forever.
Lots of options exist for an upgrade, even the material the cage is made of - there's acrylic, metal and even silicone. Each has benefits and drawbacks.
The cage that I kept seeing mentioned as a good choice was the Jailbird. I preferred the metal cages like the Steelheart that obscured the cock completely - I liked the thought of not even being able to see your own cock :)
Even then, I still preferred the metal cages with loops running across rather than vertically down.
So the Jailbird wasn't in consideration. It was a shame, because it was very popular with people, and I saw it mentioned all the time.
But then I landed on the Jailbird homepage and saw something interesting - apparently the company can make the cage with a third horizontal ring if the cage is over 2 inches long, and a fourth ring if the cage is 3 inches or more. Here's the Jailbird with a third ring:
It looks pretty good! Way better with the third ring than not (at least to me). A little searching and I found one with 4 rings:
Both look pretty good. I would be very happy locked away in either!
The cage has very good reviews and is much easier to clean than the Curve. It's made from stainless steel and won't shatter like acrylic, or tear like silicone. It's custom made to an extent, and if the fit is wrong it can be sent back to be altered.
Only thing is the price; the exchange rate isn't bad, but $350 is still a good chunk of money for a student. When your first cage was €30 you tend to see other cages as a little on the expensive side.
Then again, it's a solid piece of equipment and I'd get a lot of use from it - I want to keep going with chastity, and if I didn't it could always be sold.
I hope these aren't justifications for a shiny toy... Oh well! Nothing to do but start saving.
DAY 5 (sick)
Energy: Below average
Mood: Apathetic
Arousal: Below average
Was a bit sick today and last night, got no sleep and feeling pretty drained, so today's low numbers were normal. Feeling a bit better but I won't be at 100% till my sleep pattern is normal again.
Edit: Now that I think about it, this might have been the least frustrating was to get through day 5. Thanks, pathogenic microorganisms!
Mood: Apathetic
Arousal: Below average
Was a bit sick today and last night, got no sleep and feeling pretty drained, so today's low numbers were normal. Feeling a bit better but I won't be at 100% till my sleep pattern is normal again.
Edit: Now that I think about it, this might have been the least frustrating was to get through day 5. Thanks, pathogenic microorganisms!
Sunday, 23 September 2012
DAY 4
Energy: Little bit above average
Mood: Good
Arousal: Very Horny
Day 4 and I'm randy as a fucking stallion. It wasn't even that bad yesterday, but today came along and smacked me in the face with pure sexual desire. It was very frustrating. It was that "active" kind of sexual flavour, where you wanted to be the one chasing your prey. More than once the thought came unbidden; "The key is right there on your keychain..."
It took a lot of self-discipline, and I would not have made it though today were it not for my beloved keyholder. Some people just need a measure of control to succeed.
Mood: Good
Arousal: Very Horny
Day 4 and I'm randy as a fucking stallion. It wasn't even that bad yesterday, but today came along and smacked me in the face with pure sexual desire. It was very frustrating. It was that "active" kind of sexual flavour, where you wanted to be the one chasing your prey. More than once the thought came unbidden; "The key is right there on your keychain..."
It took a lot of self-discipline, and I would not have made it though today were it not for my beloved keyholder. Some people just need a measure of control to succeed.
Leaking like a hose :(
After 3 days, I start to leak a lot of precum. It's annoying - you have to wear a condom over your cage to keep your underwear from getting a wet patch.
Not only is keeping dry an issue, there's a feeling of "fullness" from your prostate. It's the constant sensation of wanting to pee, and it doesn't go away after you've been to the toilet. So you go to the bathroom a lot more often, and there's nothing to really get rid of.
Thankfully, prostate milking does help - once you squirt out the excess fluid you feel much better, and it's an easier issue to handle.
It's hugely annoying, and something that I think many keyholders don't appreciate much.
I'm pretty thankful that I have a keyholder who doesn't want me leaking over everything, or call me nicknames like "puddles"...
Not only is keeping dry an issue, there's a feeling of "fullness" from your prostate. It's the constant sensation of wanting to pee, and it doesn't go away after you've been to the toilet. So you go to the bathroom a lot more often, and there's nothing to really get rid of.
Thankfully, prostate milking does help - once you squirt out the excess fluid you feel much better, and it's an easier issue to handle.
It's hugely annoying, and something that I think many keyholders don't appreciate much.
I'm pretty thankful that I have a keyholder who doesn't want me leaking over everything, or call me nicknames like "puddles"...
Saturday, 22 September 2012
DAY 2
Energy: Below average
Mood: Normal, relaxed
Pretty much normal on second day of lockup - woke up late, didn't do much.
Mood: Normal, relaxed
Pretty much normal on second day of lockup - woke up late, didn't do much.
Thursday, 20 September 2012
DAY 1
Energy: normal (maybe even a little low)
Mood: relaxed, peaceful, content
Not expecting much the day after being locked up, but I'll be here every day trying to document any changes. Maybe I'll see a pattern build.
Mood: relaxed, peaceful, content
Not expecting much the day after being locked up, but I'll be here every day trying to document any changes. Maybe I'll see a pattern build.
Sunday, 16 September 2012
"Mostly" locked up...
Something I should explain - I'm not locked all the time. I have Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practice twice a week, which I can't be locked up for. Don't want the guys in the gym asking difficult questions (or my junk being torn off from a grapple gone wrong)!
It was so lucky to get a keyholder that trusts me and is understanding of my situation IRL. He has me unlock at the gym before changing, and relock after my shower. So I spend as little time out of the cage as possible :) it's great to have the chance to clean the cage properly too.
To my mind, the cage we build in our minds is the most powerful and secure of all. A chastity cage is there to stop a boy jerking it or stroking his cock without his master's permission. But there's a mental aspect too - if a boy can be trained to take the cage off and just completely ignore the urge to cum, then that's exactly the same effect!
The mental training and self-control of being chaste is something I want to experience as much as the sensation of being controlled and locked up. It's like in BJJ - if you have discipline and persevere through a tough situation, you'll be a better person for it.
It was so lucky to get a keyholder that trusts me and is understanding of my situation IRL. He has me unlock at the gym before changing, and relock after my shower. So I spend as little time out of the cage as possible :) it's great to have the chance to clean the cage properly too.
To my mind, the cage we build in our minds is the most powerful and secure of all. A chastity cage is there to stop a boy jerking it or stroking his cock without his master's permission. But there's a mental aspect too - if a boy can be trained to take the cage off and just completely ignore the urge to cum, then that's exactly the same effect!
The mental training and self-control of being chaste is something I want to experience as much as the sensation of being controlled and locked up. It's like in BJJ - if you have discipline and persevere through a tough situation, you'll be a better person for it.
Saturday, 15 September 2012
New blog!
Starting this blog as a way to keep track of what it's like to be locked up in a chastity device. I'm actually on my eleventh day of being (mostly) locked up, and regret not keeping track of what's been happening thus far.
I started down the route of chastity as a way to stop wanking it so much. I was a chronic masturbater. One day I saw the NoFap challenge - don't fap for 100 days and see the benefits that abstinence brings (more energy, productivity, motivation, self-control ect). The benefits were supposedly mediated by the higher levels of testosterone a male gets when he abstains (which hasn't been conclusively proven).
I lasted 3 days. Multiple attempts later, I couldn't last longer. It was a bit shameful, to have so little self-control...
I saw a posting somewhere about putting your cock in a cage to stop erections. It looked intimidating, but I was interested. Got a cheap knock-off Curve from Hong Kong, and that was the start of my journey through chastity.
I'm a switch, but definitely on the sub side (thought the dom side can strike with a vengeance). The idea of a man controlling my cock is very appealing to me. I've only started my journey into the world of D/s but I hope to learn a lot more in the future.
With a keyholder controlling me, I lasted through runs of 7 and 9 days. Currently I have 12 days done - something I'm very proud about!
It's difficult, I'm aching for an orgasm right now - if my keyholder allows me one soon, I intend to document each day in chastity, and see if there's any change in behaviour resulting from no orgasms. Hope this goes well!
I started down the route of chastity as a way to stop wanking it so much. I was a chronic masturbater. One day I saw the NoFap challenge - don't fap for 100 days and see the benefits that abstinence brings (more energy, productivity, motivation, self-control ect). The benefits were supposedly mediated by the higher levels of testosterone a male gets when he abstains (which hasn't been conclusively proven).
I lasted 3 days. Multiple attempts later, I couldn't last longer. It was a bit shameful, to have so little self-control...
I saw a posting somewhere about putting your cock in a cage to stop erections. It looked intimidating, but I was interested. Got a cheap knock-off Curve from Hong Kong, and that was the start of my journey through chastity.
I'm a switch, but definitely on the sub side (thought the dom side can strike with a vengeance). The idea of a man controlling my cock is very appealing to me. I've only started my journey into the world of D/s but I hope to learn a lot more in the future.
With a keyholder controlling me, I lasted through runs of 7 and 9 days. Currently I have 12 days done - something I'm very proud about!
It's difficult, I'm aching for an orgasm right now - if my keyholder allows me one soon, I intend to document each day in chastity, and see if there's any change in behaviour resulting from no orgasms. Hope this goes well!
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